It's Like That Last Piece of The 3D-Puzzle That is Deformed

I feel out of place.

I can't even post what I wrote because I never told you the story. Maybe I should ramble everything that goes on in my head & in life so I won't skip a beat. So I could type the part of the story that did have a positive to my day. (I am limiting my typing in agreement to a friend...obviously hard for me).

I don't know.

I feel out of place. I am paranoid of what happened earlier.

I don't like being awkward.

I don't want to be awkward.

I wish he wouldn't have told me that.

I also feel like I caused something.

I put myself out there.

I told a part of my past.

And it did not do good.

I am worried.

Just like in the past.

It changes. They change & then the connection is lost. If it is then I hope for the better for them.

I don't like drama. And I am really good at realizing who has it now.

I am trying to avoid them.

I wish I make sense. I wish they would understand that that note I wrote was just letting him know I was there, NOT to get extra credit or to suck up. NO.

That's not me.

"Oh you're the lady who left the note..."

That conversation...ugh...

Why is that class so afraid to follow what they feel. First day I sat and watched to see who would go into the room even though the teacher wasn't there yet. 20 min. til someone went in. Then everyone headed in.

Today I watched as everyone complained about him not being there yet they have this fear of leaving. They stay an hour. Hypocrites. I stayed for a while too, but I didn't complain. I just got up and went to find the Computer lab in the building to see if he left a message.

Then as I was heading back I decided to go look at the little sushi bar in the Union. As I entered I heard Ben's voice. "The District Sleeps Alone." His songs come at the strangest of times.

I hate FEAR. I really do. Something so simple can cause so much misery. Also mystery in a negative way.

Oh no I'm back to those stupid "What if..." and "I wish" and "If only".

But I guess it's better than "If he hadn't of gone out with her he would of had me." Those annoy me the most when someone blames the other for what they were afraid to do.

Way to warp my guitar...it's not karma. I don't know what this is.

And I don't want to...

Feel out of place.