Just Typing

Oh no,

I am not doing what I should be doing. 

Instead I've been laying on my sheets with a small bundle of tissues on the desk with the view of my little baby blue. 

I now have a cold (no symbolism, just a cold). Yesterday I kept waking up every couple hours, but because of this little bug in my chest I was able to see a sunrise (something I haven't seen in a long time. It was so warming with its colors of the rich yellow & the soft oranges blended next to the light purple. :) Mm...

I think people will feel much better if they could just get out of bed and look at the sky in the morn'n.

I feel bad now because yesterday my World Religion teacher cancelled class today & yesterday because he got food poisoning...maybe karma came for him. I skipped class this morning to save energy for tonight. 

Last night & this morning I couldn't sleep. I'm worried about her. She tries to eat, but keeps spitting it out or keeps it in her mouth and swim around (it's actually really cute). I don't know her name yet...but it will come. She has a lot of spunk...it's strange. That's how I been spending most of my time recently...gazing at the fish bowl trying to sleep. 

No sleep. I think since I slept so much I took the time I need & I think I keep falling closer & closer to what I want to do. It's weird...take a little time for yourself & you may be surprised...or maybe it just has to be at that moment. :)

Whew!!! These are some raspy coughs. Sorry...

Last night I played guitar & it felt great. My fingers started to dance again along the board & I found out that my foot keeps tapping to the beat (Why haven't I noticed that?).

I have reconnected to one of my old best friends. :) It's a virtual connection, but it still is a connection. 

I've been told to be "selfish" for myself. It is very hard especially to know when, but I think I now understand what it means & I think I know when I am going to be "selfish".  I am sure I know. :) I think I knew all along, but didn't want to take it because I wanted something that would make a bigger effect, but I also wanted a simple house a cottage...a yellowish cottage. and a simple job & I think I have been following what my mom wants me to do, but not at the same time. It's very complex. I don't know if I am even making sense. 

But I know better. I feel like I have found the river to float on. I like floating on my back & look up watching the gulls ahead with the waves curling behind my back, not knowing what's beneath, with clouds forming into strange looking characters. I love that feeling. 

...maybe I am an otter. (Except for the fact I don't have a hard stomach to crack oysters) lol