Sociable

I feel anti-social. What's worse is this problem that I have never been able to conquer. Tonight at 10:30-11 my floor advisor was waiting for all of her roomies (I'm one of them) to meet her so we can all go to the party.

This would of been great for me. Meeting new people, making new friends, & having fun...right?

So why didn't I go. I hung with Shelby & waited til I knew it was clear.

Now I am here typing on this horrible thing. By myself with no music, afraid someone would know I was in here.

Though now I feel better because I heard the elevator chirp & I hear someone next door moving around. It's nice to know that there is a heart beating on the otherside of these paper thin walls.

Just turned on music to let her know she is not alone.

Maybe she is very similar to me. Maybe we could get along and be best friends...

But I won't know.

My brother told me not to hang in my dorm. Socialize. I did for the first week!!

But I found people who I knew a little from Orientation & there roomies. Then I settled.

Not adventuring.

I like meeting people on my own I guess.

Not at parties (though it's not all bad).

I don't know why.

This week I am going to venture.

I am going to explore again.

Or I might be afraid and come back here. I like it here though.

Having a house. It's not home.

But it will do.

Maybe it's good I didn't go. I still feel a little sick.

I haven't rested.

I asked Shelby if she wanted to go with me & she didn't really want to (she likes house parties). Then she said sure, but I cancelled it. She was tired & today was not a adventure at all. All the new places we went to were disappointing. Runned down or too expensive.

I don't really like shopping either unless it's music and stuff I'm interested in.

Oh I did find a music shop!! But it's a chain.

But it's music.

Bought two CDs.

I feel like I am missing out, but at the same time I feel like I'm missing nothing.

I am not a city girl I guess. Or at least not a south floridian city girl.

But I know where I belong. :)

Did I tell you I found my necklace? :D It's not in the picture. I don't like wearing my necklace when I am sick.

I wonder what's going on at my Hometown. I wonder if you could see the stars at night over there. I want a fun adventure.

I know what I want to do. I just have to propose the idea & plan it out & wait til I get back home. :/

Hopefully I will remember. I'll write in my journal. :) I need to have it in my hand than on a screen.

But I don't mind including you (even to the you who I don't know). As long as you don't do lame stuff like flaunting or try to include yourself in my life (for those who don't know me).

Hmmm....*thinking*

What really counts as anti-socializing? I think I just socialize differently because it's more comfortable with me. I am not a big (can't explain how I am using the term big) socializer either. I like to socialize just not in that way. So it doesn't mean I don't like socializing...again...it all depends on that person's expectations. If I believe I am anti-socializing then I am.

I don't.