What I enjoy the most, I tend to push away or keep inside or run away. Maybe I'm afraid to stay because I am afraid it will be like the other times. Maybe I grew the fear of being hurt...
(This deals with multiple things in life. So if you think it's that. It probably is, but it's also all the other stuff that continues to be unknown.)
"It seems like your eyes sparkle when you talk about art..." she said. Do they turn into puddles of mud when I talk about Biology?
Maybe they sparkled for the wrong reason because I had two thoughts at the time...both relating to each other....
I think I want someone to tell me what to do. From lack of parents strictness (hippies).
I know the answer is obvious. I want to stay.
I've done it before. I am at that point again whether or not to slip away. I know I'm disappointing, but I've already warned you. It's all packed up by the door. If only I can get what's out of your hand I can go.
It's a terrible habit, but I have to go. I can't stay. I know I'm sounding selfish. I know I'm hurtful. I have learned not to tell all to one because if that person is gone there is no past to share.
I don't settle for long. Not like I use to. I am sorry for my burdens. I am sorry for everything.
I am terrible. I just wanted to make people happy; I just wanted to make you happy, but I have failed with that as well.
I'm going now.
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