It's Not A Dream

As myself I keep my dramatic self inside my imagination. Nothing spills out. I am my self. I will listen. I will draw, listen, and watch. I love to read sheet music, but literature is also good.

This self is not old and yet not new. Just improved. Yuck! No. It sounds terrible. Like It's robotic. No me gusta.

Although I usually sit and watch, most of the time I really want to get up and move. To run on the beach or the walk through the neighborhood discovering what's been their all along. To dance. I dislike sitting down. Unless I've been moving so much that my feet actually hurt.

I prefer
I enjoy walking. I blend in a little to be normal to not shine out. It works for a while. It can't be like a crazy burst of color. That would be too much. It was beautiful last night. We were taking down the Christmas tree and decorations. Mom called us out to look at the moon. As I swept out the door I got to see it. The vintage yellow moon with a dark blue sky blended around the dim glow. With a little frost of light grey clouds. The detail of the pure white stars was so breath taking...

It wasn't just on how it looked. It was the so many memories of being brought out to gaze. All the stars. Cassopeia, Triangulum, with the A Major and Minor (bear)...from the encyclopedia game, planets from my dad, and the recognition from my mom.

The breaking point of typical teen anger towards mom.
As she was driving me somewhere on A1A I remember our conversation about parenting and when she said, "Well obviously I did something right." She must have. If I never took a glance and notice beauty in the moon. If I never was brought here.And all the other If's in the world of my mind.

I want to hang out with friends before I head back, but that night felt like the family. We were all together. We still are. I want to be with them.

Tomorrow will change. I will wake up to see mom heading out the door to school and Jai off to class. Dad will go work in the Hammock. And I? I just need to keep in mind that...

Song In My Head:The Temper Trap; "Sweet Disposition" Dooo do doo da da daoooooo

Assumption...Must keep in mind to separate those and facts.