Another Misleader

Why is it possible to get butterflies in your stomach at random times? I am not nervous or anything and yet my stomach feels all weird....

These flowers I am painting kind of look like butterflies...

The music I am listening to could have something to do with it, but it wouldn't make sense (the soundtrack of Memoirs of a Geisha is really good.)

I think the lyrics are ready, but not the song...

For those who have no idea who I am (and I changed the settings a month ago so I shouldn't be expecting any strangers reading this) I have a problem with creating music. The only true finished song I have created was on piano and I played it for the coffee house, but I still can't say it was a true finished song because it's not written down (in my head) and the ending always change (improve near the ending section). I partially tried in guitar, but a clip of it escaped my memory so it got shortened.

How does Coltrane do it? It's so...amazing and to have others along with you.

I have written lyrics before, but they were so lame and reading them makes me laugh. I sound so lame. I have better once I started listening to the words.

What would a world be like without music? It wouldn't be possible. The world wouldn't exist...

What would I be like if I didn't go to SAHS and went to St. Joes?

I don't think I would have given up with guitar along with piano. I would have taken art, but it wouldn't be the same...

I have been thinking about this for while now.

You know those people you meet and you guys were so similar at a point, but branched off in different directions. Then wonder what you would be like if you did buy that CD or if you did go down that similar path. If your parents were actual normal functional parents. A normal family...a perfect family. No problems...no hurt, no pain, no worries....that would be strange....That Would Scare Me.

Though my parents really annoy me (my Dad was being real selfish and a bastard today...again) I am glad because somehow it made who I am today...probably more the negative sides of me. Granma was the one who changed things around for me. And friends...they play a big part. And the garbage men/women (I don't think I ever saw a garbage women *laughs...garbage people*). I need to honor them one day. Maybe a little gift or something... Because it's really nice to just (need to honor them too) have to take them out to the front. You know?

I am very disappointed in my parents. Upset with my dad being selfish, upset with my mom sucking up to him and then there is that elitist attitude. I don't want to type about it. It's too annoying. All I could say is that he said "You never want to spend time with the family. You never did when you got back. Well too bad, but you have too." I told him he was being stupid (probably shouldn't have said that) because I was only gone on Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat...and I had been trying for years to get the family together and he was always gone or Jai didn't want to do it and I gave up. I tried. I really did. And on those days I was home, he never asked to spend quality family time. I think he was just upset because this will be another year we don't go skiing. He doesn't even notices when clean the whole living room or sweep the floors (my family is lazy we are not structured...they were hippies), clean the dishes, pull out all the weeds, get rid of those aphids. I remember back in 6th and 7th he wanted to go surfing me, but I didn't want to because each time I would surf with him he would criticize me (you are too far out, catch this wave catch this one, you had that one...). So once I stopped surfing with him he would put it in my face saying that he is going to surf with Ben (the all-around talented kid from the upper-class. Dad's a lawyer, mom's a...mom, big house by the beach. He plays the rock and blues guitar, piano, surfs...he overshadowed Jai, Austin, and I). It's hard to have fun with him unless you do things his way.

He can be really cool. He really can, but he will talk over you. He thinks he knows it all.

I hate when I switch around like that. First it was butterflies and now it's my dad... :(

I have to quit misleading you guys (or the two of you...probably one...) Huh...

*thinking*