This Little Dim Light Flickers, Hoping to Guide Back What was Lost Through the Night

Yay!!! I'm back...

Done...with cleaning my room. I plan on waking up early tomorrow (10 minutes).

I want to run all over the beach with Tink.

Then have breakfast (A big bowl of blueberries and strawberries :>)

Then I will rest.

Then I will call...oh I can't forget about the oil change...

I wonder if I will follow this outline...

I hope I do.

Oh yeah I need to go drop off my bags.

You should be proud of me. I am too.

1 paper bag of clothes

1 paper bag of crafts, arts, other stuff...

1 paper bag of...more arts craftiness...

1 paper bag of a bunch of beanie babies

1 paper bag of a couple dolls and books

1 plastic bag of big stuffed animals

1 zip lock bag of erasable colored pencils anddd...rulers

It's most of my toys from when I was little.

Only the most memorable remain.

3 or 4 plastic bags of school work (I know I kept Ms. Mars's notes...), old songs written down (songs that have gone nowhere), really bad writings about the boy by the train (story), plastic stuff, most of my hand made penguins out of those long bendy fuzzy sticks (I forgot the name)...sketches...mostly papers...

I feel really good!!! I feel almost accomplished (have to throw out trash and move around the chair). I feel really good.

I have all my drawings & paintings under my bed. Two drawers dedicated to the arts. One shelf dedicated to the music of the arts...this is good. Though the moon is not shining it's light.

I can spread out again. Mmm...the comforter is so comfty. I can hear the waves crash against the rock while the tick tick on my laptop plays along. I can here the grasshoppers and this little clunk outside...I think it's water dripping from the pipe onto the deck...

I haven't seen any of my friends yet since I got back. :(

My mom made a strange comment and I hope it's not true.

Then it would make sense and this stupid little thing inside of me would just tear me down. I would break down & go in reverse.

I just got back.

No matter how much I try it's still there. Will it always be there? (questioning myself). Have I been running away from it since I noticed it? IT (not the clown of Stephen King) is still there. I felt so good until she said it.

I wish she was more concerned about me than how I act (proper, classy, well dressed, grammar,...blah blah blah :b). I wish she would ask if somethings wrong or why I've been acting like this. I hate how she treats other people and it pisses me off when she thinks she knows people especially when it comes to my friends. She has this stupid elitist attitude and then at the same time walks with this slothy motion. She's so lazy. I hope I'm not like her. I don't want to be anything like her.

Ohh...so much for feeling good. :{