No...Be Proud For The Different Reasons

You know what? You should be proud of me for not whimping out on my friends. You should be proud I never ruined myself and let myself into that world. The world my brother went to and keeps me away from. You should be proud of me not being blind and hate the world in general like those stereotypes. You should be glad I didn't embarrass you in the public's eye when I had the chances. You should be proud of me not driving myself into insanity. You should feel lucky you are married to mom because she has problems too, but I honestly don't think you deserve her.

Though you don't know any of this stuff you caused or any of this stuff I went through.

You have no idea what I went through.

Except for the stuff you put me through.

Yeah dad. I am writing so much anger I have towards. All this hate is being released through here. It's how I release it. That and music and just being out of the house walking.

I will never forget what you said to me that night she died. I don't think mom will either.

Do you even have a heart? Does Grandma know when you lost it? I am so glad I didn't remember these things (until now) because I know I can live being mostly normal.

I am glad for whatever this is that makes my memory so strange. Maybe it's my subconscious part that does whatever it does.

You should be proud of Jai too. For all that he tries to do and to be parenting me.